Thursday

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday afternoon, this week is flying.

I feel like it’s been the most eventful and emotional week since I left treatment at the end of May. Not all bad stuff, just a lot of it. There’s been so much crap with my returning to school, half the people don’t think I can do it and are saying I need more time. I’m just so sick of hearing people tell me I need more time or I’m not ready. It’s discouraging as all hell and I just want to give all of those people the bird and say watch me. It sucks hearing people who are super close to you, telling you they’re too scared or too worried or have a different opinion. Not that it fully matter’s to me because I’m going to do what I am going to do, no one is going to or can stop me, but nonetheless it’s a complete blow to my ego. Not only that, there have been guys up the wazoo that I’ve met in AA who have been trying to get me to hang out with them. Like bro if I wanted to chill with you I would, if I don’t answer your text it’s because I don’t want to and am tired of turning you down. They’re either dirt bags who just want to get in and get out or their far too old for me or they’re just straight up ugly. I’m not looking for a relationship per say, but I’m done with hooking up with people and I have been for quite some time. If you want me, your going to have to take all of me not just the few body parts that tickle your fancy. UGH, men. Which brings me to Apple Pie. So. Over. It. I like him, he’s sexy as all hell and he comforts me in a way that a guy hasn’t in a long time, for good reason of course, but he wants something different then I do. Well, I really don’t know what he does want, but he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship. Which is totally cool but if we’re friends WE ARE FRIENDS and nothing more. Hopefully some of you ladies know what I mean. 

I’m wicked excited for this company clambake tomorrow. No work + beach + free lobster + boat ride = BEST COMPANY OUTING EVER. But really, they’re going big this year which is totally awesome. I’m ready for some fun with people I work with. There’s a few nice pieces of eye candy to keep me satisfied for the day too since Apple Pie won’t be attending. 

AND, I’m moving in with my Big next Friday. I seriously couldn’t be happier. I can’t even picture what my life was like before I joined DG or before I had my Big. She’s become my rock, not just a “big” but an actual big sister. She’s utterly amazing and I can’t even put into words how much she has helped me, supported me, and just made me feel like a normal human being over the past year or so. It boggles my mind that I’ve only known her for a year because it feels like forever. So shout out and *snaps* for my Big :).

Switching the subject, this craft light thing I’ve been working on… isn’t working out. I can’t seem to find the right kind of light I need. I want one that is battery operated to hang on the wall and has an accessible on/off switch. If anyone knows where I can find one of these PLEASE let me know. Thanks. So plan B is to buy a base light, those lights that go underneath vases and such and can be turned on and off easily. They have them at craft stores and places like WalMart. I’m to get one of those, buy some colored fabric or canvas that I like, and then stretch that over the base light, leaving a space for the on/off switch and then wood glue the bark art to that. I THINK this will work. The light can be hung on the wall just like a normal picture frame.

Since I already bought and painted the canvas a green color, I’m going to use the letter cut outs I already have, tape them down and then spray paint over it with white to read one of my favorite quotes. It’s pretty convenient the canvas is green because that’s the accent color in my room so I can hang it on my wall when I’m done. Clever right? I like to think so. 

Anyway, that’s it for today. I’ll letcha know how craft plan B goes tomorrow. 

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